Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in illusions828's LiveJournal:

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Thursday, August 16th, 2007
1:29 pm	earthquakes so this just a little while ago we had a second earthquake here. todays was a 3.5 and it was close to chatsworth. last week we had a 4.6 also north of chatsworth. Its a little scary. the first one was in the middle of the night and the whole house was shaking for like a whole minute. todays was milder but this is starting to freak me out. (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, August 14th, 2007
8:42 pm	my life in the valley so far i love my apartment. 600 dollars a month everything included perfect location its a good situation so far. i live with 5 other people in a house right now, one more is coming. everyone is nice so far. also natasha is living here with me. its good to have someone else from buffalo to do things with. we have been goign to the beaches on sundays. other then that i have been mostly just staying around northridge. i dont want to spend to much money until i start working. speaking of working, i got a job. it wasnt at all hard finding work out here i got calls already from like 5 different places. i got hired at black angus. its a fine dining chain restuarant that sells steaks. the only thing about it that is really frusterating me now is that they dont want me to start until next tues. i just want to start working now! school starts soon and i really am not thrilled about grad school. im only taking 2 classes tho and they are both on monday night. it shouldnt be to bad but im going to be soo busy once the end of august hits. oh well other then the annoyance of banks right now things are going pretty good. (Comment on this)
Wednesday, July 25th, 2007
8:47 pm	should have done this sooner bc my memory diminishes quickly. left from Buffalo got to say goodbye to jen and jr and ashley. we always have a good time. i will always love and miss buffalo and all my friends and memories that are associated with it. idk if la doesnt work out ill prolly end up back there so we drive through cleveland, columbus, cinncinati. cinncinati was really pretty. its like a city on a hill with lots of bridges and rivers. then right when you are done going through the city you end up in kentucky. kentucky was actually one of my favorite states. we stayed in a place call sherpordsville, (I beleive). we got a little lost on the way and ended up in Indiana. The whole area was so pretty. its slightly hills, with a big river running throught the hills. Louisville was interesting. we saw the big baseball bat. There were carriage rides through the city. I love their accents in Kentucky. anyways we stayed overnight, got some sonic, the only downful was it was so buggy. we left the next day and traveled to tennesee. It was a nice drive. hilly, green, lots of horses, etc. Gas was the cheapest in these states for some reason. we did stop in nashville. we parked and took a walk downtown. they had lots of bars and places to eat. We tthen went throught alabama and mississippi. Alabama was cool. its mostly little houses, shacks even and a ton of churches. I think we saw a church for every 3 houses at one point. We went down to birmingham, alabama. The place we ended up was more of a college town. It was suprisingliy a commercial college community but i think we just so happened to end up in one of the nicer areas. Otherwise, its a lot of trees and poverty. We then went to mississippi. THis state could have been the worst one that we passed thought. LOTS of poverty, churches but scarrier. We stoped at this gas station, the kids were playing with a flat ball and tim went in to get gas. they told him that he had to stop when it got to the amount he paid them bc it didnt do it automatically. we thought this was funny. We stayed the night in meridian mississippi. It was a scarry place to stop. They had a sign for a bar, next to our hotel. we went to go over there and it turned out that it was gated and practicully someones house. you couldnt get to it and this guy yelled something to me out his window so i knew it was time to go back to our room. we went to lousiana next. drove to new orleans. i could not beleive the hurricane damage. it was absolulty insane. i pretty much had tears in my eyes and didnt even recognize the city. tons of apartment building were boarded up, stores, places to eat, churches all gone. I went to my campus first thing and all i wanted to do was take tim on a walk to the levy where i used to go all the time. I didnt even rememeber where i was. the campus was all being reconstruced. my dorms i lived in were still shut down and the walk i wanted to take was still blocked off. aparently, the leves did break right about where i was living. it was all really sad. we then went into the quarter. the quarter wasnt nearly as damaged. but you could tell the whole city was just kind of dead. less people, less buisness, it was really sad. we stayed with tims friend in a house that had been condemed. we went back to bourbon street at night. got really drunk and had a good time. i love that city and i really hope more help is giving to the people. we drove through baton rouge, much prettier then i expected, drove throught the bayou's, wetlands, everything all the way across the whole state of louisiana. theres noting for hours! our next stop was naples, texas. we were staying with tim's family and we drove there in a day from new orleans. Naples was the most middle of nowhere town i have ever been to. the nearest city is shreverport, la which all the refuges from the hurricane moved to so now theres a ton of crime there. anyways, tims family had a dune buggy, 800 acres of land, and the streets were one way and made up of clay. it was very different. THey were a very nice family who basically lives off the land. Its a simple way of life, and it was really neat to expeience it. We stayed for a couple nights. after texas we ended up going up to oklahoma city and all the way to amarillo. we knew this drive would be really long with not much to see. its very flat. however, i thought oklahoma was kind of neat because i guess the chereoke indians lived there adn they had lots fo exits to see their artifacts. the way to amarillo started to get pretty. I was unbeleivably flat but driving it was really peaceful. we drove all the way to our next stop which was Santa Rosa, new mexico. It was the old route 66. we stayed in a really nice hotel. it was pretty there, nice weather. and what seemed to be really nice people. we drove through alberquire which was very mountanios and then santa fe. we saw all the pueblo looking houses. its very different out there. our next stop was vail colorado to see erica. Colorado is the prettiest state i may have ever been to. the mountains run all thought the state. they make the mounstains in california look like nothing now. its all very green. Hoeveer, i coulnt beleive how expensive it was. all i saw were mansions up on the mountains. Denver was gourgeos. I would love to live there. THe drive to vail was insane. you are like 12,000 feet above sea level. its all twists and turns thorught these tunnels. i loved it. It was great to see erica. She seemed to have a really good idea to move there. on our way out we stoped at all these scenic overlooks. we went to one and saw the colorado river and there were people just smoking pot, wite water rafting, camping, everything it was amazing. THen, we went and stayed in green river, utah its werid passing through bc utah is so different then colorado. Utah is all these pretty rocks in the desert. you see platoes, and mountains the entire time. The sky in utah is really nice. but theres hardly no civilation for hours! we went throught the corner of arizona, breathtaking and then to vegas where we stayed the night. we gambled, drank did the whole vegas thing and drove through the desert to tims house. so that was the trip! (Comment on this)
Sunday, June 17th, 2007
8:51 am	"If you tell me that you'll wait for me I'll say I won't be here I want to say goodbye to you Goodbye to all my friends Goodbye to everyone I know" (Comment on this)
Friday, June 1st, 2007
10:07 am	holy shit its june 1st!!!!!!!!!!!! i have 26 days til tim gets here. i have so much to do. my last day of work will be the 22nd. im so nervous and so excited... (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Tuesday, May 29th, 2007
6:27 pm	i think i want to work as a counselor for the elderly. i love old people i really do. i have been attending these alztimers meetings for work since im caring for a woman with dementia. i really like it. basically her mind goes backwords more and more every day and its a irreversible process. she is getting younger everday instead of older. and she is compared to a 2 year old at times. its really sad. but i like learning what it is she is going through because you can learn how to help her. i never watch tv anymore. i honestly think its been 3-4 weeks since i sat through a whole show and longer since ive watched a full movie. i have a very hard time sitting still. i have been going non stop for like a month now...working everyday going out to the bars at night. tonight i was home doing nothing from about 6 til now and im bored outta my mind. i want to be more opened minded with music. i need ppl to introduce me to new songs. i cant pick out bands to listen to by myself. im really sick of lazy people. i admire hard workers and motivation. dont get me wrong i love to come home everynight get wasted and smoke myself stupid. but theres a difference between doing that and having other thigns you are busy with in your life. it kind of bothers me when ppl make comments about my 40 hr a week job. they say things like oh youre always working or hows the full time thing going. thats really weird to me. i thought everyone just automotically would be working full time by now. i really dont know to many ppl who do. i want a baby really bad sometimes!!! (Comment on this)
Tuesday, May 22nd, 2007
10:21 pm	i dont mind coming home early and spending an evening with myself anymore. that didnt used to be the case, in fact i prefer it sometimes. i like making cds from other peoples computers and dating them. that way i can look back and understand myself from the songs i was listening to at the time. and also by whos music it was. my horiscope was read to me today. it was about standing up for myself in order to change the way something in my life is going right now. well guess what, i was given that about 5 minutes after i made a couragous move. even thought the outcome wasnt satisfying im glad i did it. its hard not to be a crazy bitch sometimes. so instead i have usually used silent treatment but that didnt seem to be helping me anymore. i guess you need to find a solution in the middle. i think i had a reason to be pissed of the other night. after its all done with tho i do feel really quilty. but i rather let ppl know how i feel rather then ignore it. it looks like i may be living with natasha, my roomate from sophomore year in buffalo. weird how things work out sometimes. Current Music: burnt cd crystal made me (Comment on this)
Monday, May 21st, 2007
9:54 pm	im to quick to judge sometimes. i dont like that quality. i say or even think one bad thought about someone and then i immediatly feel bad about it. i do beleive that i look at the good in people. i dont know how other ppl get away with being so nasty. i look at things people do and i think to myself how could u ever let yourself get away with something like that without it tearing u up inside. i have really been thinking alot latly about the bad things that ppl have done to me in the past. jr and i were talking one night and we came up with the thought that we feel sometimes everyone in our life owes us an apolige. its so true. i feel that so many ppl owe me something for what they have done. the only problem is im not at all willing to accept their forgiveness. im to bitter for that. love that part of me tho, i really do. on a different note...ive always wanted to try living in portland oregon. if la fails i think ill have to give that city a try. (1 Comment |Comment on this)
8:28 pm	ive been craving the city of new orleans latly. southern rock, humidity, diversity, and huricanes. i really want to go back! (Comment on this)
Friday, May 11th, 2007
9:35 am	i love contraversy sometimes when its random ppl u dont like at the bar. especially losers from high school. oh yea i love gossiping too. looking for apts is hard. when you dont know where they are, cant come and see them and have no idea who u will be living with. i found a couple already that do look really good. one for 525 in chatsworth with 6 other guys. i would be the only girl which might be fun but might be really weird. i found another for 500 5 mins from northridge that looks really good too. so i have been talking to some ppl about them. i have to pay 525 for my online course this week. im really stressed about alot of things right now. certain things that i keep waking up in the middle of the night thinking about. i really really dont want to get any older. (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Thursday, May 3rd, 2007
10:39 am	latly i have been getting so tired at night and cranky. i dont know why. its like its time to socialize or catch up on the phone and i turn into a sleepy bitch. i need to change my moods...and stop sleeping so much. i cant beleive how much CRAP i have. i have thrown out bags and bags of garbage and i still have so much shit to clear out. im such a pack rat. its ridiculous. i went over to eds last night and brought a random selection of my cds for him to copy because ed and i have always shared taste in music. alot of the cds were random mixes. i love hearing old mixes it brings back so many memores. i worry alot that ppl will not agree with my taste in music. but ya know what those songs have alot of meaning to me and they have broughten me closer to some of my friends. the song wildflowers came on and he loves that song like i do. he was playing it so load and it was really a good time. (Comment on this)
Friday, April 27th, 2007
1:02 pm	scared create your own personalized map of the USA or check out ourCalifornia travel guide there it is. our tentative path that we have planned out. we know we want to go to new orleans and colarodo to visit friends. so we basically connected the dots and im sure we will change this if not by like tomorrow. but this is what ive mostly been thinking and we are deff going from denver to vegas. im really nervous. for alot of reasons. before i was counting down the days and all of a sudden i just wish time would stop for a while. (4 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, April 23rd, 2007
2:44 pm	i think this job is the best one ive ever had. im starting to love it more and more. i mean instead of feeding ppl burritos im actually helping ppl emotionally, psyically, and socially. im getting really close to some of the ppl. ive prolly said this several times but here it goes again. i need to stop moving around so god damn much. Whenever im adjusted and used to things i move again. i dont want to quit this job. im actually nervous to tell tim that i might want to work for a couple more weeks. i mean its good money and i really might not be ready to leave. on the other hand, i need to start dieting. im going for a jog tonight and i want to make this a nightly habbit. im out of shape and have recently gained 5 more pounds. (Comment on this)
Saturday, April 21st, 2007
9:28 am	Jackie-O with the top down open All the words to what's unspoken I'd put together everything that's broken Just to see you my favorite was anything acoustic and much slower last night. Great time!!! (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, April 17th, 2007
8:32 pm	JR: So what is it exactly that you are holding on to Shanna? ME: my cell phone (Comment on this)
Tuesday, April 10th, 2007
1:32 pm	this is getting serious every tuesday i take two bags of garbage out of my room. i need to throw away as much of my stuff is possible. my mom is moving out of clifton springs soon. she bought a new place. also im moving across the country and i need to ask myself for every little thing i own do i really need this anymore? today at 7 i have a phone interview with fullerton. im stressed about it just bc i hate questions like why should we accept you. but since i got into northridge i dont care as much. im just not sure if i had to pick between fullerton and northridge what one i would choose. anyways, i also found out if i go to northridge i have to take a summer class. so i am enrolling in the fifth college now for undergrad work. ugh. oh well luckily i found the course online which i got really worried because i didnt want to have to cancel my drive out for a stupid class. but now i can just find places with the internet and go to my online class while somewhere in the us. so my date of departure is going to be the 2nd week in june. (Comment on this)
Monday, April 2nd, 2007
9:12 am	i got into the mft program at northridge!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! so excited (4 Comments |Comment on this)
Sunday, April 1st, 2007
9:44 pm	annoyed i really dont know where to start. i wish for now that i could just know what grad schools want me and dont want me. it might help me out to know what to expect for once. im really pessimistic latly. like now that its getting closer and closer im starting to re think my decisitions. idk why but fleetwood mac is a perfect analogy. i have been listening to fleetwood mac since i was little. i grew up with it. my parents are huge fans. even many of my friends listen to it. its simple. its the sort of music that inspires me. well someone hates fleetwood mac, cant beleive i listen to it and makes me embarresed to say that i love it. i dont feel like i can listen to it anymore or better yet i just wont have the opportunity and it will disapear. im not the kind of person who likes to hide who i am but what if i put myself in a situation where this happens. latly, i really just like simplicity, being by myself, or better yet being with ppl who are simple and make me feel like i can be myself. (Comment on this)
Wednesday, March 21st, 2007
7:09 pm	"we took a walk to a park adn we all just layed down on the grass and talked about crazy shit. the walk there was really crazy everythin was so brights and the cars on the street were insane. i looked at the road signs and started seeing random things. i picked a flower and brought it to the park. i swanng on the swings with tim and we all just layed down and stared at the tress and the sky" i was reading old lj entrees tonight...bad idea when ur about to finish a bottle of wine. anyways i was asking for trouble by doing this but this entry made me cry. i need to get outta here soon! (Comment on this)
6:55 pm	right now im just hoping that things worked out as planed. (Comment on this)